Okay so, here I am this snowy Saturday morning sipping my coffee and listening to my 2 year snore away in my bed. I was laid off 8 days ago, I have a flat tire, my fiance is mad at me about something but won’t tell me what(she wasn’t mad when we went to bed so I probably farted in my sleep or something) and I only have today and tomorrow to finish my novel for NaNo.
It was motivation that started me and support that’s kept me driving but this is the time for focus. The only way I’ll finish this final 11,979 words in time is focus. I mean, really, I should be focusing on my story and not this damn blog.
I’ve never had much of a goal in life besides women and fun. Really, that’s about it. Never any long term goals at least. I’ve floated through life on the whim of the wind, going whichever direction it took me. Now, here I am, attacking the first big goal I’ve ever had and I have to admit, I’m doing better than I thought. That is because of support, plain and simple.
Without support, I wouldn’t find the motivation to drive me forward. And for all the support given, I have to say thank you.
At times I wonder if I’m even that decent of a writer to actually be publishing my work. I mean, I’ve only self-published one short story so far and that’s it. My family say they like my work and I’ve even received two five star reviews on my short story but the doubt is still entrenched pretty deep. I guess I’ll find out once I get this story finished 100%.
Anyways, I’m rambling now. I need to get back at my story. Enjoy your day and go read my short at SMASHWORDS. It is on sale for FREE from now until Christmas. Don’t say I didn’t give you guys anything. Just enter in this coupon code and enjoy a great little read on this cold morning: YS23F
As I sit and sip my second cup of coffee my clouded mind is trying to clear so I can work on finishing my NaNo novel. I know, I should be finished by now but I’m a bit of a procrastinator at times. I’m sure some of you out there are participating in the insanity of Black Friday. I have a flat tire, that’s my excuse of why I’m not. The reality though is quite different.
I spent yesterday with friends and family, eating and drinking, watching football and indulging in wonderful conversation. I’m holding on to that today, even though I’m locked away in my room. If I was to venture out into world and fight over objects on sale I would loose that sense of humanity from the day before.
I’m wondering though, how is it that people can justify their mob-like actions just to buy stuff for slightly cheaper, just one day after celebrating a holiday that is supposed to be about being grateful and thankful? I guess it’s probably because we don’t actually celebrate Thanksgiving anymore, now it’s just Black Friday and Cyber Monday. In the month leading up to Thanksgiving, I’ve seen far more ads for Black Friday than Thanksgiving. It’s pretty damn sad.
So what are we now then? Consumers. We aren’t humans anymore, at least not in the eyes of corporations or governments. We are simply consumers. Our job is to buy stuff, that’s it. Simple as that. If you’re not out buying stuff then you are not doing what you’re supposed to be doing therefor you’re considered strange and weird.
Of course, I’m just rambling about nothing. It must be the effects of all the tequila and beer I drank yesterday. Yeah, that’s it. Don’t listen to the garbage I spew. Go back to buying stuff that you’ll eventually not give a fuck about. Go back to eating your processed chemicals, oooops. I meant food. My bad. Go back to watching tv, fuck reading a book. Go back to being a consumer. I’m going to switch gears and write instead. Create. So, to quote Kendrick Lamar, bitch don’t kill my vibe.
Sometimes it takes a negative event to bring things into perspective. Something uncomfortable, scary, uneasy. It’s the negative that can provide some of the best motivation, and as long as you focus you can achieve your goal. What about connections though?
Take notice of events going on around you and the feelings you have inside of you. If you pay close enough attention you just might notice a connection between events and your goals. Some say that life is what you make it and for the most part that is true but the universe is alive and offers us our dreams, just so long as we grasp at the changes that lead us to our goal.It’s taken me thirty-three years to figure this out and now I finally see both what I really want and how to attain it.
Connections. Links. Focus and motivation. Don’t just grasp for your dream, grab it and put it in a stranglehold. Don’t let go.
Ah, Saturday mornings. For me that means coffee, loud music and writing, writing, writing. I love Saturday mornings, despite the normal hangover I get from Friday nights. On Thursdays you can usually hear me say, “I don’t want to be here right now,” at work. Well, once again I said that this last Thursday and sure as shit, Friday found a way to help me get what I wanted. Yup, I got RIF’d. Reduction In Force. Layed off. Yup. JOBLESS. Just like that.
Blindsided is one way of describing the way I felt. Gutchecked is another. A flurry of emotions rushed through my veins, all of them demanding dominance but luckily for me I’m a calm, patient person and handled the situation just as I was supposed to. I shook hands, thanked them for the good times and pay checks then took my ass to the hall and signed the books. #70 on book 2. Sweet, so maybe I’ll only be out of work for a week. Oh shit, holiday season is upon us. Wonder how I’m going to tell the kids that I had to spend the money on rent so no Christmas presents this year?
Alright, enough of that depressing stuff. The kids will get presents and the rent will be paid. Shit happens right? Well, like I said, be careful what you wish for. What I’ve been wishing for the last three weeks is more time to write. More focus for my stories. I do want to be a working writer, right? I did say I’m tired of being an electrician. Creativity saturates me and yet I work with hand tools. Shouldn’t my hands be my tools? Right. So now that I got what I wished for, it’s time to keep the right perspective and get down to work.
Though sometimes shit comes along to slap us in the face we just need to look at it from the right angle, use it to move forward, not let it hold us back. Focus renewed, this time I won’t stay my hand.
As of yesterday, I reached the midpoint of my 50,000 word goal. Yeah, I know, I’m a little behind but that’s ok. I seem to work better under pressure so I’m hoping that will help push me through at the last minute. I figured at this point I’d let you all know just what I’m writing. Here’s a short summary:
The federal government has declared a national emergency and the state of Washington has been entirely quarantined as a deadly virus spreads rapidly. Families are ripped from their homes and thrown into a quarantine camp for medical testing and to try and stem the spread.
Trent Fisher, an electrician isn’t buying the official story and attempts to escape with his family…but fails. His family is taken away and he escapes. Follow Trent as he joins a resistance group in an attempt to rescue his family and reveal to the world, the truth.
I know, you’re excited. I can tell. I’m excited as well just writing the dang thing. Hopefully, with much effort, I’ll finish on time and begin the arduous process of editing and polishing this amazing work of fiction. It’s publication to be announced, though, if you ask nicely I’ll let you read an excerpt or two.
You sit at your computer, staring blankly at the screen as you try and strong arm your mind to create something amazing. Nothing happens. Just down the hall, the kids are running around, beating the hell out of each other and screaming their heads off as they play. You just ate a large dinner. There is beer(or wine) in the fridge and you can’t concentrate. Too much noise. Too much distraction.
How do you fight back all of this and start writing your tail off? How do you push out the craziness so that one day the world will get to experience the amazingness that is your story?
I have no clue. No damn clue at all. Right now, at this exact moment, I am dealing with all of that. I think I have a piece of halloween candy left over somewhere, probably going to have to eat that.
If you know how to handle all this, please let me know because I am a loss.
Oh yeah, beer.