As I sit and sip my second cup of coffee my clouded mind is trying to clear so I can work on finishing my NaNo novel. I know, I should be finished by now but I’m a bit of a procrastinator at times. I’m sure some of you out there are participating in the insanity of Black Friday. I have a flat tire, that’s my excuse of why I’m not. The reality though is quite different.
I spent yesterday with friends and family, eating and drinking, watching football and indulging in wonderful conversation. I’m holding on to that today, even though I’m locked away in my room. If I was to venture out into world and fight over objects on sale I would loose that sense of humanity from the day before.
I’m wondering though, how is it that people can justify their mob-like actions just to buy stuff for slightly cheaper, just one day after celebrating a holiday that is supposed to be about being grateful and thankful? I guess it’s probably because we don’t actually celebrate Thanksgiving anymore, now it’s just Black Friday and Cyber Monday. In the month leading up to Thanksgiving, I’ve seen far more ads for Black Friday than Thanksgiving. It’s pretty damn sad.
So what are we now then? Consumers. We aren’t humans anymore, at least not in the eyes of corporations or governments. We are simply consumers. Our job is to buy stuff, that’s it. Simple as that. If you’re not out buying stuff then you are not doing what you’re supposed to be doing therefor you’re considered strange and weird.
Of course, I’m just rambling about nothing. It must be the effects of all the tequila and beer I drank yesterday. Yeah, that’s it. Don’t listen to the garbage I spew. Go back to buying stuff that you’ll eventually not give a fuck about. Go back to eating your processed chemicals, oooops. I meant food. My bad. Go back to watching tv, fuck reading a book. Go back to being a consumer. I’m going to switch gears and write instead. Create. So, to quote Kendrick Lamar, bitch don’t kill my vibe.
More often than not, the bad guy doesn’t realize that he is just that, the bad guy. Sure, in crappy, b-rated action flicks they do but for the most part, people don’t realize they are the bad guy. Sometimes I wonder, and this just might bring me the wrath of some, if I live in a country that is the bad guy, touting around likes it’s the good guy. Or maybe we’re all the bad guy and there are no good guys…
As this beer courses through my veins, I wonder, who am I? Where do I stand in this world and why am I here? Is it the alcohol that has me thinking this way or some underlying thought thats been stuck deep inside my mind? Probably both. Does it matter either way? No.
It’s a completely valid question. Who am I? Why am I here? Of course I have theories but none of them quite add up. Whats your opinion? Why are we here, truly? It can’t be to worship some God and beg forgiveness the whole time, that mess makes no sense. Let me know your opinion.
Today is the day, finally it has come! Today, I will sit down and write! That’s right! I’m actually going to sit my ass down and work on my stories. I’ll probably work on about three or four and hopefully, maybe, finish a short. If so, that’ll be pretty awesome. If not, oh well.
Of course, this is something that I think almost everyday. Life always seems to get in the way, at least, that’s my excuse. Three kids, full time job, household responsibilities, they sure do take up a lot of time. Today though, being that it is my day off, the house is half way clean, I cooked enough yesterday for today and it is raining out, I really can’t find a reason not to write. Especially now that I’m 3/4s the way through a pot of coffee, I’m amped up and ready to go!
Now, if only I would stop procrastinating and actually get down to work. Wait, I need my notes! And more coffee! I wonder what funny videos are floating around youtube right now? Damn distractions! At least the kids are keeping themselves entertained and leaving me be.
In a world where computers are in just about everything, how well would you fare without one? That means, no PC, laptop, tablet or smart phone. This is something that I need to come to grips with.
As of last night, my computer lost its battle with a virus and has succumbed to its injuries. Luckily I have a smart phone(really they should just be called phones now) and am able to get online through it but what if it died too? Would I survive? Would I lose my mind with fear and confusion? Probably not but I wonder how some people would react.
What I wonder about even more is about the person who wrote the program that defunct my computer. Why would they create such a thing? It doesn’t do anything but destroy. Who knows how many computers this thing has attacked since being released into the wild. Is it boredom or just an evil streak? Curiosity or cruel intent? Either way, whoever built this and sent it out is a jerk.
Sadly, I am way too distracted of a person to do anything on a daily basis, besides that which life requires. So, with that, Day 2 is a few days after Day 1. You’ll just have to deal with it.
The Rhythms of Inspiration, Day 2
Entombed by Deftones
The Deftones, I can definitively say, were my first favorite band. Sure, I had plenty of groups that I really liked and favorite songs growing up but when I was first introduced to their music I was captivated and to this day, still remain so. With an ever evolving style and a live show that only gets better as they age, the Deftones are one of those rare groups that have truly become masters of their craft
The band founded in 1988 down in Sacramento, California and have since released 7 official albums while at least one remains shelved, due to a horrible tragedy that I will not go into.
I’ve seen the band perform twice and each time the shows are absolutely incredible. Again, if you would like more information, do what I did and look them. You should also go to their website, www.deftones.com and check out some of their amazing music. It just might inspire you, it sure does me.
Sorry for this post but I’m at a point where I must get some stuff off my chest. I come across days like this probably at least once a week. I feel a slave to someone else’s emotions, which, ruins my day completely. I feel unmotivated, depressed, angry, slightly ill and overall just not in a good place.
Apparently, I have this amazing ability to anger a certain someone without even knowing how. A long stint of silence between us then occurs and I’m left wondering what in the hell I did that was so bad as to make them angry enough to slam the door as they leave and then not communicate with me. This is not the way I am so I don’t know exactly how best to deal with it.
I am a social person by nature and when I am not in a good place, I often like to discuss it so I can get over it. I rarely harbor negative feelings for a person long and often times I forgive and forget quickly, without even realizing it. I guess, I just don’t like to be in a negative mood.
So here I am, depressed because of this situation, my whole day looking bleak, completely unmotivated, as the kids run around the house having the time of their lives.
This is not cool.